When I go out in public I am a spectacle, to say the least. Complete strangers seem oblivious to the screaming coming from the stroller indicating that patience is wearing thin and my window for errand-running is closing. They continue with standard, and sometimes invasive, twin-related questions as though I have all the time in the world. Once I've finally broken free without being rude I rush into whatever establishment I have business with and try to keep them from knocking things down, breaking something, or drawing too much attention. By the time we've made it back to the car I'm exhausted and the kids are a mess. The idea of introducing that level of chaos to a place in which I find great comfort and calm seems like a terrible idea, but nearly every bearable Sunday I make a go of it.
I do my best to brush my hair, put on a dress and do the same for all 3 kids and get them out the door. That is before they are able to get some kind of food product on whatever I've chosen to dress them in. Before I can walk out the door, however, I need to pack food. I'll need snacks, lunch, milk, sippies. The works. I'll need a change of clothes for each because Matty nearly always pees on something. I'll need "games" for Abby and for June, nothing because she is content to play with whoever is near her. Finally, I have everyone in the car and this is usually about 3 minutes before church begins.
Upon my arrival I have to unload and calm the already fussy toddler trio. Abby is normally in pretty good spirits because she knows she is going to be seeing her nursery buddies. It isn't until we've found our seats that she starts to demand (loudly) her sandwich. It is at this point that the people around me begin to sense the tension within my little family unit. The twins have eaten all of their snacks and simply no longer want to be in their stroller. I can always count on, though I hate that I have to, members jumping in to hold, chase and entertain. It pains me to sit and listen to the talk knowing someone else has to miss it for me.
I am constantly debating whether my being there detracts from others' experiences. What if by taking them away from the words being spoken they are missing something that may help them in their spiritual journey. Am I really gaining? I spend time listening, yes, but also trying to keep track of my children as they are being held or chased by other people and generally in 3 different directions.
At the end of the Sacrament I would say I've only regretted going a few times and those times were just rough days. All in all I love being there, I love hearing what little I hear and I love that even though they are too young to truly understand they are in the presence of something wonderful that will help them throughout their lives.
I have often felt that same way, and I only have 1! I teach Relife Society on the 4th Sunday and in one of my lessons a lady shared a comment that really made me feel good. She said that when her daughter was little she was out wandering the halls with her instead of being in Sunday school when another sister made the remark "It is so good you are here with your daughter. You are teaching her the important of church and the gospel in her life at such a young age." That really gave me a new perspective, even when I am just hanging out in the Mother's Lounge, I am still teaching my baby that being at church is important. I don't know if that helps!
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