I wanted to get this down while I was in the thick of it. In less than a week I will be implanted with 2 embryos that are not mine. With as much thought, prayer and time as I've given this decision I am a nervous wreck.
Tonight I started the more serious hormones. I remember whining pretty loudly (sorry everyone) about the effects of the birth control pill on my body, but that was nothing. As I took a pill out of each bottle I saw the pile grow to an intimidating size. The memory of my sweet Intended Mom's recent (and excrucuating) experiences echoed through my head as I took one after the other. I have no idea what kind of toll this will have on me so all I can do is wait.
This is happening. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not having second thoughts about it. After getting to know my Intended Parents even better throughout this process I want nothing more than to make them parents. They've endured so much and have so much love to offer I am honored that they would choose me to be the temporary caretaker of their baby (or babies). I'm just completely terrified. I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle the side effects as well as she did. I'm afraid this won't work and I'll have failed them. I'm afraid that my family will suffer.
Okay, less than a week. Putting on my my big girl panties and taking care of business.
Girl. You rock. Hang in there. What a glorious thing. Don't worry. All will go well and you'll soon just be happily nauseous! (That's all. Don't want any more than that...) Your kids are great. You & Logan are great parents and that won't change just cause you get some hormones raging. Lol! Just let others know when you need some help - you aren't in this alone. My prayers are with you and your parents-to-be! - Love ya! Dawn
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